There have been times over my 30 years of ministry when I felt like giving up. Each time, it was a trusted encourager who helped me find my footing again. Some of my deepest periods of growth have come through being mentored by seasoned leaders who invested in me, while some of my most fulfilling moments have been watching those I’ve mentored step into their calling.
Yet here’s the irony: While we regularly challenge our congregations to seek out mentoring relationships, many of us as church leaders fail to cultivate these vital connections ourselves. We’re so busy pouring into others that we neglect our own need for spiritual nurture and growth.
The truth is, every church leader needs three key relationships: a Barnabas, a Paul, and a Timothy. In other words, we need an encourager, a mentor, and an apprentice. Let me explain why each of these is crucial for our spiritual and leadership journey.
The Barnabas: Your Essential Encourager
Remember Barnabas? His real name was Joseph of Cyprus, but he became so known for encouragement that it became his identity – people literally nicknamed him “Mr. Encouragement.” He was the one who vouched for Paul when the early church leaders were (understandably) skeptical of the former persecutor’s conversion.
As church leaders, we need our own Barnabas – someone who will champion us when others doubt, encourage us when we’re ready to quit, and hold us accountable when we need it. This isn’t about finding a yes-person; it’s about having someone who loves us but isn’t impressed by us. Someone who sees both our potential and our blind spots.
The Paul: Your Spiritual Mentor
Leadership can be isolating, and the pressures unique. That’s why we need a “Paul” in our lives – a seasoned mentor who has walked the path before us. This isn’t necessarily about formal training; some of the most valuable mentoring happens in casual conversations, shared ministry experiences, and life lived together.
Think about how Paul mentored Timothy, Titus, and others. It wasn’t through a structured program but through doing ministry together, traveling together, facing challenges together. Who is that person for you? Who is speaking into your life, challenging your assumptions, and helping you grow not just in skills but in character?
The Timothy: Your Leadership Legacy
Here’s where many of us as church leaders face our biggest blind spot. We’re so focused on leading our congregations that we forget to invest deeply in raising up new leaders. Yet this was a crucial part of Jesus’ ministry model and Paul’s strategy for church growth.
Just as Paul poured into Timothy, we need to be intentionally investing in emerging leaders. This isn’t about running a program; it’s about spiritual parenting. It’s about finding those who show promise and potential, and intentionally helping them grow in their calling.
The Challenge
So here’s my challenge to fellow church leaders: Take an honest inventory of these relationships in your life. Do you have:
- Someone who encourages you and holds you accountable?
- A mentor who is helping you grow?
- An emerging leader you’re intentionally developing?
If you’re missing any of these relationships, make it a priority to pray and seek them out. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it makes you vulnerable. But these relationships are not optional extras – they’re essential for sustainable, fruitful ministry.
Remember, Jesus himself modeled this pattern. He had encouraging relationships with his friends in Bethany, he sought time with his Father for guidance and direction, and he poured himself into his disciples. If the Son of God needed these relationships, how much more do we?
Your ministry effectiveness and longevity may well depend on having these three vital relationships in place. Don’t wait until you’re in crisis to seek them out. Start today.
