Lately I’ve been talking about this idea of finding your calling in a variety of different settings. It’s interesting to see the affect the topic has on different people. Some say, “I already found my calling long ago, I’m good.” Others are intrigued by the idea and willing to explore, and still others think they’ve reached an age where the idea of calling has already passed them by. “That’s a nice idea for younger people,” they say, “but I’m too old to consider such things.”
I want to suggest that it’s never too late and it’s never a bad time to consider your life’s calling. In fact, there may be no more important endeavor you could pursue at any stage of life.
Will Mancini introduced the idea that there are three major crossroads during the course of a human life, seasons where it makes the most sense to consider or re-consider your direction and purpose. Three stages of life where we are naturally asking bigger questions of calling and impact. You can check out his original post here, but I’m going to summarize some of his concepts in this blog post.
Many of us of have heard of the dreaded “midlife crisis,” a season where otherwise level-headed people make impulsive decisions leaving those who love them scratching their heads. I realize the word “crisis” is a bit negative, but midlife is not the only time when this sort of thing happens. There is also a quarter-life crisis and three-quarter-life crisis phase for most people. Let’s use the more-positive term “crossroads” and explore these three different seasons of calling.
The Quarterlife Crossroads: What am I doing?
Somewhere in their 20’s, most people hit a Quarterlife crisis. Aimlessness plunges many young adults into a low-grade anxiety or even depression. Some had spent their adolescent years rebelling against the rules and constraints, surviving their own dangerous decisions, not really caring about much of anything. And suddenly these kids are adults.
Some got their diploma and graduated with degrees in whatever path they were “supposed” to follow. But many never really bought in to that prescribed career path. They don’t want to do work they don’t care about and find themselves dissatisfied and not making a difference. Some young people attempt to compensate for their lack of fulfillment by putting too much effort and energy into a relationship or a hobby or cause.
Still others diligently pursued a life goal they believed in, they got the proper credentials and opportunities only to find that the passion of their life didn’t satisfy something deep inside them that was longing for meaning and purpose. One 25-year-old said, “No one prepares us for the decades’ worth of post-education revelations such as ‘dream jobs’ are pretty hard to come by (but by the way, unemployment isn’t), having a real job is not like an episode of Mad Men, and finding ‘the one’ is virtually impossible.”
Side hustles and gig-based-work abound in the quest among young people to answer the driving quarterlife question, “What am I doing?”
The Midlife Crossroads: Is there something more?
Many people pour themselves wholeheartedly into a career or calling in their twenties and thirties, expecting it to carry them through life. But as they approach middle age, they often find that what once felt fulfilling now leaves them wondering if there’s something more.
For some, this restlessness comes from success. They have checked all the boxes and completed all the “levels” that were expected of them, but they find themselves longing for a new challenge, a fresh adventure.
Others feel unsettled by a lack of the success they envisioned. They haven’t reached the heights they once aspired to, and now, instead of being seen as rising stars, they’re viewed as middling performers, with little attention and no new development opportunities coming their way.
Most people experience a blend of these two scenarios. They’re capable and skilled, yet the path to growth and new achievements feels elusive and uncertain.
At this stage, many start searching for a new way to live out their calling, but midlife brings added complexities. The stakes are much higher than were at the quarterlife. They can’t just re-invent themselves willy-nilly. Now there are relational obligations to consider and financial obligations to spouses and children and parents and employees. So many people just hang on. The question lingers in the back of their mind, “Is there something more?”
The Three-Quarterlife Crossroads: What will outlive me?
Those who navigate midlife transitions often arrive at a surprising new challenge around the three-quarter mark of life. This phase, typically beginning in one’s mid-fifties, brings a shift in focus from what they’re achieving to what they’re leaving behind. Ironically, the very success they’ve built through years of hard work can create a hurdle as they face this stage.
Up to around age 55, productivity is tied closely to activity. Those who embraced the risks of midlife likely enjoyed a season of exceptional fruitfulness, pouring their energy into impactful projects, relationships, or ministry. But now, as they look to the future, they become acutely aware that they won’t be able to keep “doing” forever. Time and energy start to wane, and the reality of eventual physical limitations and mortality becomes undeniable.
In this season, the question shifts from “What am I building?” to “What am I leaving behind?” Leaders often find themselves wrestling with the legacy of their life’s work. They ask: “Will my impact vanish when I’m no longer here?” and “Will the seeds I’ve planted bear fruit long after I’m gone?”
This is where the idea of lasting fruit, as described in John 15:16, comes into play. Jesus emphasizes bearing fruit that endures, and at this stage, leaders are called to ensure that their work will continue to bless others, even when they are no longer actively involved. This might mean mentoring the next generation, putting plans in place to sustain their projects, or creating structures that will carry their influence forward.
The three-quarter mark brings a powerful opportunity for seasoned leaders to turn their focus toward leaving a legacy—a lasting contribution that speaks to their values, vision, and commitment to serve others well beyond their lifetime. It’s a stage marked not by producing more but by ensuring what’s already been produced will continue to impact lives for generations to come. The question is, “What will outlive me?”
At all three of these crossroads and everything in between, it’s important to wrestle down your calling. Asking questions like, “where has God positioned me and what has God given me? What is next for me? Where is God asking me to grow and expand my discipleship journey? Who am I investing in?” are critical for every thriving Christian.
